Poop & Vomit

One of the most un-glorified jobs of being a vet tech is the bodily fluid clean up.

I'm talking poop and I'm talking vomit.

You can have a day when you won't even catch a glimpse of the stuff and other days you're slipping and sliding in it.

Picture those Slip n slide commercials. Kids running, big smiles, jump and slide! YAYY!!

Now picture the water replaced with poop and vomit.. yayyyyyyyy.

On this particular day we had a giant rottie and a giant lab.
The rottie started it, to be fair.
The back of your neck tingles and you just know.
I walk back to locate the violator and see the scene.
Brown mush everywhere! EVERYWHERE!
The kennel floor, the walls, the ceiling! How the heck did it get on the ceiling???? THE CEILING?

I open the gate. The plan in my head was for the dog to run from his kennel into the adjacent kennel so I can clean.
He started to then something in his brain switched and he barreled right into me then the kennel. I did a comical slip slide motion as the poop from his feet covered the clean ground.
I didn't fall. You sick readers!
I cleaned it all up. Then left.
An hour later the back on my neck tingled and I trudged to the back to see the second kennel to be just like the first.
Another coworker peeked at the situation then tip toed away.
I moved him back to his original kennel and cleaned it up with the hose, a couple rolls of paper and a lot of cleaner. Like a Mega Bottle from Costco. 
I stepped back and admired my work and went to clean the rottie's poop sodden paws.
 Then the  lab started to make a horrible vomiting sound.
I glanced over and he was doing the weird vomit gesture.
Two seconds later he projectile vomited all over his kennel then proceeded to take a giant shit which started out firm then turned into soft serve them full on diarrhea.
He kept turning and slipping in it. Vomiting and shitting more and more and more until it was leaking out of the kennel, seeping all over the floor and reeking to high heaven.
I gagged a bit and trudged over to start cleaning. I slipped and caught the side of the kennel. The dog stared at me and wagged its tail. All happy of the rank swamp it had just created.
I waded closer, five rolls of paper towels in hand.
Other gags could be heard as I started to slop it all up and pitch it in a trash bag.
"OH god." someone cried out.

Oh I cleaned it all up. I moved the dog to another kennel, gave him a full on bath bath.
Then turned back around to see the rottie in kangaroo position, a turd just coming out.

Slip N Slide.. the Shitty version. literally.