Saturday, June 17, 2017
What's Your Story??
No seriously. What is your story? Have a crazy nightmare you want to share or something funny?
Maltishihpoochiweenieyorkie
Congratulations you adopted a new puppy.
It's a Maltishipoochiweenieyorkie.
You spent 5,000 on it.
5,000 on a mutt?
"It's a purebred."
Purebred is a Labrador retriever or a Cane Corso or anything that it a PUREBRED!!!
"It has no genetic flaws."
IT'S a English bulldog mixed with a sharpei. It's gonna have problems.
IT'S a maltese chihuahua mix.. with luxating patellas and what the heck is wrong with its teeth?!
When you breed two different dogs together you aren't getting the 'best of both worlds' you are getting both the world mixed and combined.
Sure your Goldendoodle is 'hypoallergenic' it also might be predisposed to allergies.. and ear infections.. and not too mention all the hot spots.
"I can't afford vaccines."
You just spent 5000 on this Cockerpoodlechiweenie.. You're not going to protect if from getting parvo and dying.
Here let me just take your money and throw it out the window. There .. it... goes.. poof gone.
"You can only get these dogs from a breeder."
Really cuz I just went to the pound and saw maltese mixes and pitbull mixed with lab and chihuahua mixes. All priced as an affordable 30 bucks.. with money to spare for vaccines :)
It's a Maltishipoochiweenieyorkie.
You spent 5,000 on it.
5,000 on a mutt?
"It's a purebred."
Purebred is a Labrador retriever or a Cane Corso or anything that it a PUREBRED!!!
"It has no genetic flaws."
IT'S a English bulldog mixed with a sharpei. It's gonna have problems.
IT'S a maltese chihuahua mix.. with luxating patellas and what the heck is wrong with its teeth?!
When you breed two different dogs together you aren't getting the 'best of both worlds' you are getting both the world mixed and combined.
Sure your Goldendoodle is 'hypoallergenic' it also might be predisposed to allergies.. and ear infections.. and not too mention all the hot spots.
"I can't afford vaccines."
You just spent 5000 on this Cockerpoodlechiweenie.. You're not going to protect if from getting parvo and dying.
Here let me just take your money and throw it out the window. There .. it... goes.. poof gone.
"You can only get these dogs from a breeder."
Really cuz I just went to the pound and saw maltese mixes and pitbull mixed with lab and chihuahua mixes. All priced as an affordable 30 bucks.. with money to spare for vaccines :)
Portobella Vaccine
OK let's get this correct.
You own a dog. You know how much said dog poops a day, how much tears the dog produces an hour and how many kibbles the dog eats each meal time.
Yet you can't say the name of the vaccines your give your pet every year?
Boarding Vaccine
Bordotollo
Bordotella
Portobello
Bordella
Lipto Vaccine
Lip Vaccine
Leppo Vaccine
Lepo sore osus
Lep vaccine
I can't tell you how many variations I have heard over the years.
Even the DHPP vaccine is not safe!
Distemperment vaccine
Temperment Vaccine
D vaccine
Vaccine my pet shop sells way cheaper and does not require an exam.
Sorry, that last one gets me. Sure you can get vaccines at your pet shop. but when you dog gets parvo.. don't come crying to me. Especially since you only gave one shot when it was 3 months old because that's all it really needs and you decided to take pup to the dog park.
BIG DEEP BREATH
So let's go over the correct way to say it
Bordetella.. Board- DEE- TELL- AH
Lepto- Just keep it simple and say Lepto.
DHPP- Let's just go with Combo Vaccine... ok?
You own a dog. You know how much said dog poops a day, how much tears the dog produces an hour and how many kibbles the dog eats each meal time.
Yet you can't say the name of the vaccines your give your pet every year?
Boarding Vaccine
Bordotollo
Bordotella
Portobello
Bordella
Lipto Vaccine
Lip Vaccine
Leppo Vaccine
Lepo sore osus
Lep vaccine
I can't tell you how many variations I have heard over the years.
Even the DHPP vaccine is not safe!
Distemperment vaccine
Temperment Vaccine
D vaccine
Vaccine my pet shop sells way cheaper and does not require an exam.
Sorry, that last one gets me. Sure you can get vaccines at your pet shop. but when you dog gets parvo.. don't come crying to me. Especially since you only gave one shot when it was 3 months old because that's all it really needs and you decided to take pup to the dog park.
BIG DEEP BREATH
So let's go over the correct way to say it
Bordetella.. Board- DEE- TELL- AH
Lepto- Just keep it simple and say Lepto.
DHPP- Let's just go with Combo Vaccine... ok?
Microchips in Pets Bring Aliens
Some people are odd ducks....some people are crazy.
One particular crazy, let's name her Paranoid comes in and asks how much it would cost to remove the microchip implanted in her dog.
HUH?
"I don't believe in them. They transmit frequencies. Cause Cancer. Everything with radio waves causes cancer. All this electronics. I'm a radio wave free person. I want it out of my dog."
Of course I go to the DR who is already listening in from the office and knows this woman is crazy.
I come back after a quick chat with the DR.
It will be about 1k-2k to take it out.
"1000-2000???!! That is ridiculous. Give me information about the company. Where it is made? How much radiowaves does it produce. I don't want it tracking my dog and me!"
That's...not....how it works.
I give her the brochure of the microchip company to keep her happy...ish.
"Fine I will call them and deal with them!"
She turns and leaves.. as she does a notice a very nice cellphone in her backpocket.
A CELL PHONE
Seriously?
This woman was so obsessed with the microchip that she didn't even realize the aliens could track her with that cell phone!!
'Those' Clients
It's 3 years!!! since my last post? Where have I been?
Working and gathering more and more stories.
You ever hear that saying "You Can't Make This Shit Up" ?
Well, seriously....you can't.
We all have had nice clients, clients that make our day or clients who just obey the vet rules and were born with a rare thing called common sense.
BUT THEN....
Then we have 'Those' Clients.
Yes, we all know 'Those' Clients.
Clients who just don't get it, or try to make a Mount Everest out of an ant hill.
A recent favorite is the thought that us techs are just sitting around doing nothing, waiting for that phone to ring so we can answer it and schedule that person when ever they want to come in.
Picture this scene.
PentaBooked.. Yes, not double booked, not triple booked, not even quadruple booked. 5 appointments all at the same time.
Client A
Calls and says they adopted and new Morkieshihpoopitbullgreyhound and they need to get it in for an exam.
Ok I have an opening in five days at this time.
"Well I need to get him in today. I adopted him from a place that says I need an exam in 5 days."
How many days has it been?
"Well it's been five and I need it done or else they void his warranty. I had off yesterday but I didn't want to call yet."
I just want to hang up the phone.
Client B
"I need my pet seen today. He threw up and he's acting weird."
Well I can work you into our schedule, we are double booked. It might be a 15-30 MINUTE WAIT.
"Oh, well I'll just come in 15 minutes earlier."
There will still be a wait.
"What if I come in 15 minutes later?"
STILL A WAIT.
"Well when can I come in and there won't be a wait?"
We are completely booked today. I have no available spots, we would be working you into our schedule.
"So I'll have to wait?"
YES.....
"Well I can't wait I'll just wait a few more days and see if it clears up. It's been going on for a month so I think he'll be fine."
SIR. YOUR DOG NEEDS TO BE SEEN. JUST WAIT 15 FREAKING MINUTES!
Working and gathering more and more stories.
You ever hear that saying "You Can't Make This Shit Up" ?
Well, seriously....you can't.
We all have had nice clients, clients that make our day or clients who just obey the vet rules and were born with a rare thing called common sense.
BUT THEN....
Then we have 'Those' Clients.
Yes, we all know 'Those' Clients.
Clients who just don't get it, or try to make a Mount Everest out of an ant hill.
A recent favorite is the thought that us techs are just sitting around doing nothing, waiting for that phone to ring so we can answer it and schedule that person when ever they want to come in.
Picture this scene.
PentaBooked.. Yes, not double booked, not triple booked, not even quadruple booked. 5 appointments all at the same time.
Client A
Calls and says they adopted and new Morkieshihpoopitbullgreyhound and they need to get it in for an exam.
Ok I have an opening in five days at this time.
"Well I need to get him in today. I adopted him from a place that says I need an exam in 5 days."
How many days has it been?
"Well it's been five and I need it done or else they void his warranty. I had off yesterday but I didn't want to call yet."
I just want to hang up the phone.
Client B
"I need my pet seen today. He threw up and he's acting weird."
Well I can work you into our schedule, we are double booked. It might be a 15-30 MINUTE WAIT.
"Oh, well I'll just come in 15 minutes earlier."
There will still be a wait.
"What if I come in 15 minutes later?"
STILL A WAIT.
"Well when can I come in and there won't be a wait?"
We are completely booked today. I have no available spots, we would be working you into our schedule.
"So I'll have to wait?"
YES.....
"Well I can't wait I'll just wait a few more days and see if it clears up. It's been going on for a month so I think he'll be fine."
SIR. YOUR DOG NEEDS TO BE SEEN. JUST WAIT 15 FREAKING MINUTES!
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